So anyway what i was thinking is that this page will be like all the other cool neocities sites that have like, a "thoughts" page or whatever. I mean i have one of those, but it's not really organized thought, it's just me being LOL SO EMO LOLOLOL and stuff like that i guess. So that makes this page for things that are too long for president.html or the home page. its like the uh....... i dont fucking know im just writing words down. who knows if this will be like, a thing, or whatever. I kind of hope it is though because like, president.html is for like angtsy emotions or whatever, and I dont want to link it on the homepage, out in the open, yknowwhatimsayin?? And the home page isnt for super long pieces of text, either. So its like, shit might as well make a page for this one specific occasion. or whatever.
anyway im kind of a fucking dumbass, because whenever i talk to someone irl for more than five seconds im always like "LOLOLOL YOU WANNA SEE MY FUCKING WEBBED SIGHT?!?!?!" and i show them my website because im proud of it. anyway thats why i cant link president.html to the homepage because then they might see me being stupid. i dont know where i was going with this. No one is wondering this but my golden truth is that someone is reading this and wondering why this page looks different than the rest of my site. Anyway it's because i was 12 when i made this site and now it's four years later and i'm not spending all of my time listening to vocaloid and writing about my favorite vocaloid ships or whatever. Sometimes I think about if i'm still going to have this in the future and the answer is yes but then i wonder what it will look like, because like i said i made this site when i was in 7th grade, and idk i just wonder if it will still look like it does on all the other pages. idk. So i decided this will be the page where i make it all "mature" or whatever. not because i'm all like "auauauau well i'm not in middle school anymore its time to be all grown up" or "no more fun", because this is fun, but its like "lol okay i want a page like this because the other cool neocities sites have pages like this". dont worry im not fucking selling out and losing the fun glittery graphics, there's just a time and a place for those and it's not here, because i said so.
I think i'll link this to the homepage, i dont know. i'm very tempted to just write "PENIS COCK LOL FUCKING PENIS" or something like that, but no thats for president.html. Sometimes i really do regret showing this page to other people irl, because now i can't write all the shit i could if i was 101% anon y. mouse on here. I mean i'm still very anonymous on here because no one i know irl has a webpage of their own, but they still have the url, so im worried if i write shit on here they'll read it and think im a lunatic. "As if anything you write on here is weird enough to make people think you're a lunatic"
............ see i could write something weird after that but i wont because what if people irl see it?? exactly.!! Here's a fun fact no one cares about: this page is called nanodesu.html because i was listening to that hanyuu nanodesu song when i was making the file. it's also why there is "auauau" in the first div. Well im already out of fucking ideas. See what i could do it start going off about how "god i cant ever think of any fucking ideas whatafuk is wrong with me oh god everyone thinks im a lunatic oh god oh god oh god oh shit oh fuck"...... but 1) that belongs on president.html and 2) listen pal im trying not to be so miserable and panicky all the time, and that doesn't really help me. Sometimes though it's definetly a sort of "PROTIP: purposefully keep yourself miserable to stay cool :^)" thing. And OH GOD they were right when they said misery loves company or whatever, because OH GOD is it so tempting to just be a miserable bastard forever, because that's what makes you cool. and i want to say that it does but i'm not allowed to. "says who??" me ;_;. gotta like, set rulez 4 yourself or whatever. God everything i type is fucking terrible. Its like there is a mean middle school girl looking over my shoulder and saying "WHY DONT YOU JUST GIVE UP AND DIE LOL". its eva-beatrice im talking about eva-beatrice. what the fuck is wrong with me why would anyone type sentences like this. No i dont mean that in the "oh god whatafuk is wrong with me oh god oh shit oh fuck" its a more rational self-disgust. MEN ONLY HAVE 2 MOODS: panicky self-disgust and rational self-disgust. if im not talking about touhou or umineko on this site, it's because i'm doing one of the types of disgust.
anyway thats enough for today because i cant think of anything else.