oh god what is this page uhhh idk just where i fling out verbal assault at your ocular devices. the basement of the website, where the cursed texts are located. everything i say on here is strait from my head.
so jus twere i rwight random things
WAIT!!! where are my 10 million entries about society that say thee same thing over and over?? well this page got too long, so here's all previous entries by year, read them for funzies if u want
man shit sucks now. everything is bad. i hate being an adult. this shit sucks. no i cant point to a specific example but shut up. i have to go back to university tomorrow that sucks man. theres barely any snow on the ground that sucks man. nothing online is fun anymore that sucks man.
i still have to finish packing for university that sucks man. i have to get another job that sucks man. ill be doing whatever and then remember that climate change is a thing and then ill want to kill myself that sucks man. i have responsibilities as club president that s- well actually that ones alright.
man this shit sucks. everything sucks. i have no money and i need to shower.
i need to learn how to code for real this time. but maybe not now im busy with making stuff for a fashion show :^)
IM A SUPA GIRL RUNNING THROUGH THE WROLD WITH MY SUPA NATURAL POWAAA
the other day i had a weird experience where i was doing embroidery while playing my records and i realized "wow im doin the exact same thing i did when i was 16" and it was very odd. im so fucked man im never gonna make it
i fucking hate what the web has become. everythign is ai slop or seo slop being pushed by elon mush. i hope everyone involved in that has a brick fall on their head.
why cant it be 2010 again.
fuck man. i hope certain people die
ive got so much hatred in me for certain people. i hope they die. i hate this. man i dont even got the energy or passion behind my anger anymore im just apathetic. i hate this. like i dont have the passion i used to have, yknow back in the day id write shit in here in all caps seething with rage but now yknow. i jsut dont care. i mean i do care but also ive jsut accepted it. ive accepted it. things were never good, no ones gonna save the day and do anything, everyones gonna die in a climate related disaster, no one responsible will get any justice. i dont care anymore. ive accepted it. im never going to see a good winter again, things will keep getting hotter, nothing iwll get better, no one will be shot like a rabid dog for their crimes, whatever, ive stopped caring. ive accepted it. ill never have the fun i used to have online anymore, every worthwile place online is dead and will never come back, its just slop ai bots talking to each other for god knows what reason.... whatever man.
AAAAAAA HOLY SHIT WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO BE A FUCKING "CULTURE" NOWADAYS AAAAAAAAAA
HUSTLE CULTURE DIET CULTURE PRODUCTIVITY CULTURE FUCK CULTURE PENIS CULTURE POOP CULTURE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
anyway theres tooo much music in the world and i cant believe ill never be able to hear it all. theres too much vocaloid music and it hurts that ill never have enough time to listen to it all. especially with newer songs, man i cant keep up!!!!!!!!!!
please eevery vocaloid producer stop making music until ive caught up on everything being released........... and now with synthv and cevio AHHHHHHH i cant keep up i dont know who all these new synths are AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i cant keep uppppppppppp
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
my life be like oooo aaaaaa oooooo aaaaaa
peter griffin voice
i did not care for mesmerizer
i did not care for magical cure love shot
i did not care for miku anamanaguchi
my sewing machine is fucked and i dont know why so instead of doing work that im really suppoers to be doing im not doing that.
thats erally cool that my sewing machine gets fuckd AAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK MY LIFE
HELP!!! MY MASK OF SANITY US BEGINNING TO SLIP LOLE!!!!
ummmm im so fucked lole
i hate that i have to interact and talk with poeple i hate it so much andi hat e that i have to do things why cant i just sleep foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i love sleepinggggggg it would be so cool if i went to sleep and slept for a long time and when i woke up everything was fixed and everything was alright and people will say "oh wow i cant believe things were that bad for you clam hanson but everything is fixed now and evetyhing is okay now"
i think what would really be good for me is if there was like, a dio in my life. like id be johnathan and thered be dio. and that person would fucking kill me but not before i make a legend out of myself
i think that would be good for me. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
man im just in anguish because theres never any stopping it never stops
but i also wish i was a frail orphan with every disease ever because then at least id have an excuse for living in self pity. ohhhhhh woe is meeeeeeeee look im so woefullllllllllllllll
i have a club and im president.html of the club and its a good club but im worried that it will turn into "clam and her friends goof off". what i mean by that is. the club is intended for playing a game, and i want other people who play the game to come to club so we can play the game together. and i want people who dont know how to play the game to join the club so they can learn and we can play the game together. i want my friends to join, i want people i dont konw to join. but also. im worried that the ratio of people i dont know to people whoare my friends is tipping in favor of people who are my friends. and then i get worried becasue i dont want my club to turn into a circlejerk of my friends not playing the game and just goofing off.... we are here to play the game please focus. one of my friends decided to join club, she does not know how to play the game. but instead of learning to play the game today she said "i dont have the energy to learn how to play today so ill be doing hw/playing my other game in the corner and watching (our other friends play)". im glad youre joining but please. if youre not going to learn to play then why come........ why not come next week when you do have the energy to play instead of showing up and playing your other game.
i just dont want my club to turn into "the gang hangs out and goofs off and doesnt actually play the game". i want to play the game with people i dont know. i dont want it to turn into a circlejerk.
things may be bad but at least
normally i'd say "at least there are bunnies" but there are NO bunnies nearby for me to pet and hug. i am in a bunny desert. well theres wild bungys but i cant hug and pet those
i hope one day i get shot and i die but i also survive, like i want the experience of dying so that i can hard reset everything but i also dont want to die for real. i want to turn off and on again. sleeping doesnt really do that....
i hope i get shot and everyone is like "ohh clam hanson you poor thing everything will be okay now"
THATS IT THATS IT!!!! i want to go to gensokyo!! ill be forgotten and everything will be alright and fun and games in gensokyo and ill drink tea all day and take afternoon naps in the sun and wear nice clothes and everything will be okayyyyyyyyyy
i cant believe i have to wake up tomorrow, its getting a little old by this point........
well waking up tomorrow woudltn be that bad on its own, but its the fact that i have to DO things thats getting old...... well i suppose that waking up day after day with nothing to do would get old as well................................ theres no winning ;_;
gooboo gooboo gooboo
everything is bad i have too much to do and im so fucked and i cant do soeme of the stuff i need to do becaseu i am bad at it
im gioing actaully insane this time. for real this time. im not fucking around this time its real. im really going insane this time unlike all the other times LOLOLOLOLOLOL
well at least the year is alsmost over and i can relax all summer except i CANT because its another AWESOME year without an internship im going to KILL MYSELF this time FUCK MAN. well not really but its more an expression of exasperation at not having an internship
i sent out lots of resumes at the conference LOLOLOOL and said "pls look @ my portfolio" and said "pls hire mee" :(((((((
and the worst part is that ill have to go home during the summer and tell my parents AGAIN "haha yeah nope i didnt get an internship again haha troubled times haha" thats the worst part because me ma told me "dont worry youre totally gonna get an internship at the conference 100%" and guess what did not happen
my five year plan is to be suddenly shot in the back ogf the head while walking down a campus building at night and lie there dead on the tile for 6 hours until my body is discovered in the morinign and no one knows who did it
im sorry thats kind of fucked up actually. i try to keep it g-rated here. thats a litle more than g-rated i think im sorry.
objectively im doing fine, a solid B, but im just very stressed and busy right now and writing frivolous things like the above helps keep things from festering. its a very sophisticated system i have.
but anyway about my five year plan, i lie dead on the tile and my blood contrasts so nicely with the white tile and then everyone is like "ohhhh poor clam hanson all she wanted to do was to sew pretty dresses!!!!"
i havent been eating enough lately which isnt good..... i need to eat more ive been under attack by the headache wizards for the past week..... but i dotn want to go out to the store just yet. i need to make curry with my chicken cuts. i need to make pesto. hmmm what else can i make..... the only real food ive been eating that isn't handful of goldfish are pasties which are really good becasue its handheld and hot and vegeables and meat and cheap and filling and i can walk into the store and buy one and leave and eat it and then have some energy for a bit. but that cant be the only thing im eating all day thats not enough man its not good.
mmmmmm pasty so yummy so yummy.... i cant get them ANYWHERE when i go home for the summer thoguh
i think its really cool how just as im becoming an adult and entering the adult world and shit like that, yknow everything is going to shit. lol. and the thing is im not skilled enough to be scouted by other countries lol they dont want me. lol.
but it cant be helped i guess
PLAY THE CARDS IM GIVEN